Friday, 20 February 2009

Why is it unfair to ask for a sample with a bill

Some clients ask you to attach a sample with the bill. I believe this is completely unnecessary, and therefore unfair. By boss may be a little of the former, but is definitely not the latter. And those who think it is, should look elsewhere.

Well, I don't see why discontent should necessarily lead to a parting of ways. If the employer, client, or anyone for that matter, takes a 'like it all or leave it all' stand, it means he's lost all sense of proportion and closed all doors to self-improvement. Similarly, if he believes that 'if they don't leave me they must love me', he's fooling himself. 

Anyway, let's re-look at the sample bit. Let's say I sell you a supercomputer. Surely, you aren't going to ask me for a sample. Instead the payments will be dependent on certificates of delivery, installation, implementation, training, etc.

What if I were selling pins? You may ask me for a sample, but it'd serve no purpose. Because attaching one pin to a bill cannot prove that I sent 10,000 to your store. Again, you need to verify internally. 

What if I sold you, say, a design for your new office? You'd probably ask for a set of blueprints. But by themselves they won't prove I did any designing. I can be a fraud who drew a plan based on your existent office (designed by someone else). In other words, the existence of a plan doesn't settle its authorship. So here too you will need other proofs: documents showing I was contracted and that I have delivered.

In no case does the sample seem to verify.  

Well, perhap it describes. Instead of describing the work I have done in words, I supply a copy, i.e., a life-size model.

Humm, and why may you need a description, and such an exact one as that, at such a late stage, where the goods have been delivered, presumably accepted, and now only the payment remains to be done? If you haven't bothered to create a easily traceable document trail till now, which contains the description at a fairly early stage, my sending samples with the bill won't get you out of the chaos that you must have gotten yourself into at you end?

The sample, I am forced to conclude, can only have symbolic significance: When your auditor asks you about my bill, you will hold up the sample (provided you can find it then) like an exhibit in a court, and all will be well.  

I'm afraid I can't see how the sample does you any real good. (It does me a good of course, because it fetches my money.) But you insist on it. 

Yet, does it's redundancy (for you) make it unfair?

That's bit tricky, though not from my point of view, which maintains that any rule that doesn't stand up to reason is actually a signal of power. "Stand up when I talk to you, not because it does either of us any real good, but it does put you in your place, doesn't it?" 

Does a signal for power, more so an inadvertent one, constitute unfairness? Well, much is wrong with this world... yada yada yada... but that doesn't mean that minor wrongs can be passed off as rights.  

Friday, 13 February 2009

Dr Rosling's amusing stats

Search on Data Visualisation and you're soon to find Dr Rosling, his amazing stats and his fawning tribe. A little thought shows both the good doctor and his tribe are amusing, but hardly amazing: the former, for what he does; the latter, for swallowing his gobbledygook.

He begins with a test for his students and colleagues. He takes 5 pairs:
1.Sri Lanka/Turkey
2.Poland/South Korea
3.Malaysia/Russia
4.Pakistan/Vietnam
5.Thailand/South Africa

And asks the test-takers to pick the country with the higher infant mortality from each pair. They score worse than a chimpanzee would (plain chance). He announces that nobody knows nothing.

Now, how fair was that test? Let's look at the actual figures as per the UN:
1.Sri Lanka (11 deaths per thousand births)/Turkey (27.5)
2.Poland (6.7)/South Korea (4.1)
3.Malaysia (8.4)/Russia (16.6)
4.Pakistan (61.5)/Vietnam (19.5)
5.Thailand (10.6)/South Africa (44.8)

The mode, as per the UN data is 13.4, while the median, 21.5. The range is 157.4.

Our pairs are near the middle. Yes, the smaller number is about half the larger one, but that not alone is not enough to take people to task for failing. I mean, it see the students' and other teachers' failure as proof of Western ignorance is far-fetched.

(Can the average student in a US History get these presidents in chronological order: Van Buren, Harrison, Tyler, Fillmore, Pierce, Hayes, Arthur... Probably not. Is the average student a dunce? Probably not.)

But this is only the beginning. What Rosling does next would be laughable had his conclusion not been so dangerous.

He proves that the world has become a more egalitarian - by measuring the incomes on a logarithmic scale!

Now, why would you do such a thing, unless the differences continued to be of orders of magnitude? His very use of the logarithmic scale gives away that reality is the opposite of what he's supposedly proves!

What follows is worse. He shows how developmental variables change with per capita income, the latter still being measured on a logarithmic scale.

Of course, everything improves with rising income! Rosling warns us against generalization, as a good teacher should. But the damage is done. Trade = increased income = wonderful things: babies stop dying; people start to use contraceptive; we live longer; heaven descends on earth.

Or does it? Do the figures really show that? Or do they show that economics probably doesn't matter. Because measured on a sane scale, poor nations stay more or less where they were (and that matters - more in a moment). Yet development measures improve dramatically.

And, in all probability, that had far more to do with science than all the business that ever was. At least, science made the poor man's life far less miserable than his grandfather's.

Meanwhile, income did crawl up. And by using on a logarithmic scale the enrichment looks phenomenal. It's smoke and mirrors! As one commentator wrote at the TED site, "Using such a scale, you can prove anything." (In a log scale, men and elephant are brothers, with the solar system as their first cousin. So what?) The tragedy is that critics of his antics are few and far between; admiration overwhelms.

PS: Can it be thus: There is high correlation, but no casualty; rather both increase in income (meagre) and betterment in development measures (fantastic) come from the same source - science?

Putting it under the mattress will do the same

Kotak Life Insurance guarantees protection for your principle with its Unit Linked Life Insurance Plans. If I just want to protect my principle, keeping it at home is good enough. Fat lot of good it'll do when inflation is in double digits.  

But then Kotak Bank ran an ad saying that we'll need them as long as money doesn't grow on trees. 

Err, I always thought that one of the biggest reasons for wanting money was that it didn't grow on trees. I mean, if it grew on trees, we won't want it (just as we don't want, say, guava leaves). So banks will have to switch to giving us something less easily available, say, tadpoles.

Who approves these ads?

Monday, 9 February 2009

"Low-fare airlines cannot afford any frills"

So said the CEO who had recently turned around a low-cost carrier. Of course. 

But what's frivolous about serving passengers a meal on a three-hour flight, which usually involves quite a few hours' more of travelling by road and waiting at the airport (security, luggage)? Or giving them a seat slightly better than a school bench? Does adding a few more rows of seats or serving only peanuts and water enormously improve the low-cost carriers' chances? 

Or are these excuses - justifications - for the ability to charge realistic fares that business travellers are OK with (though they may not be pleased with)? 

By the way, is the casualty rate among low-cost airlines a great deal better than that among the 'standard-fare' ones? Low-cost probably doesn't translate into high-margin. If it indeed doesn't how do these people manage in lean times? 

Tuesday, 3 February 2009

Killed by clutter?

Try writing more than a dozen words in an ad and you have colleagues and clients descending on you with this platitudes and protest. "So much copy will make the ad so cluttered that people won't even look at it." "Why have art directors then, just print the leaflet?" and "Why do we need to say all this in this very ad."

Non-award-winning copywriters have buried by this deluge for far too long. Maybe it's time we make a point or two. 

First, what is the evidence that clutter is unattractive? Clutter is unattractive to us inside mainline ad agencies, but not to all humanity. For many, the overkill is what works. Walk into any middle-class drawing room and take a good look at the show-piece shelf. Look at calender art or idols. Personally, I find clutter disgusting, but I cannot make, less dictate, my audience's taste; they can, and perhaps should, decide my professional taste. 

(Let me take a step off the road. Americans routinely find Lata Mangeshkar shrill. To almost all Indians, she is the sweetest sound on earth. An American record company which wants to sell to us better not argue with our musical tastes.) 

In fact, in direct mail, clutter is considered good. Apparently, we humans instinctively arrange things in our head. When we see a cluttered layout, we try to arrange its elements in our head, that is, we get 'involved', and once involved, we start reading the benefits. 

I suspect this is hokum, but it seems to work for that industry pretty well. And it's too big to argue that it caters to a tribe that does not see mainline ads. 

In fact, they don't even seem to find this 'rule' (Clutter works better [than neatness].) worth testing. In a dozen years of reading about direct mail, I have come across only one test involving layouts, though scores involving headlines and copy. (It was for a British bed company. They had three ads in magazine. Two were uncluttered and modern, one was classic direct response. I wonder which one pulled more, and why.)

Anyway, my point is that there are plenty who practise and advocate clutter, and they may have a point. These things can probably cannot be tested, yet, like hypothesis in physics or chemistry can be. Nonetheless, unless you have conclusive proof, it is profitable not to believe in something just because others like you are doing it. 

(Many middle-class Hindus believe Muslims are terrorists; there must be some reason for their belief; moreover, I am a middle-class Hindu; hence, I too believe Muslims are terrorists. Well, Muslims may well be terrorists, but my logic is all wrong, because not all beliefs need be based on fact.)  

Second, let's look at the 'purpose of art' question. Why have art directors when anything goes? Actually, the block-headed copywriter never said, "Anything goes." He said, "For this ad to go anywhere, it needs to say more. And for it to still be attractive, please lay it out."

Two words need thought here: 'art' and 'attractive'. They are related. Art here is not 'high art'. It can be. It need not. Sometimes, it should not.

What's my point? Advertising art has as much to do with the art in gallerias as advertising writing has to do with the writing in novels, even pot boilers. Aesthetics is a tool for us, not an end. We'd write an ugly line if that makes advertising sense: You think we think those horrible bullet points are great literature! 

The same should go for an ugly layout. Avoid it if you can; do it if you must. And don't feel ashamed about it, because you're not an artist, but a salesman with colours and lines. 

The question, therefore, is not if the reader (viewer) will find a layout (a film) pretty; it is, will he find it interesting? Will he think it worthwhile to read (see) it, in the hope that he may materially benefit? For instance, to return to the beginning, can a cluttered layout signal that a brand has much to say in its favour?

Finally, must we say everything in that ad?

Well, when are we going to notice that our clients and we are the only people who live in our brand's world? Others have other things to worry about, their own lives, for example. If we get an opportunity, if we get a prospect's attention, let's make the most of it. Let's put forth as much as we can, and leave it to the prospect to decide where he wants to get off. 

The moment the reader reads the headline (paid attention to my commercial) I can reasonably assume that he is asking me, "What's in this for me?" I better give him a full answer. 

By which I don't mean hitting him with an encyclopaedia, but I do mean telling enough to let him decide (if I'm doing a Reason Why ad: If not, none of this applies). So, let us not palpitate about frying his poor brains with an 'information overload'. 

Yet, one question remains: If it's logical to say more, why aren't more ads saying more? There can be several explanations. 

First, numbers needn't mean much. It's logical not to smoke, yet millions do. It's logical to exercise, millions don't. 

Second, not saying much also sends a signal: "These people bought so much newsprint, then said so little. They used it, instead, to provide us 'visual relief'. They must be rolling with money. That is only possible if lots of people are buying from them. That's only possible if they're good." (Sethji is not selling water to pilgrims, he's giving it free. He must me rich, ergo, he must be good. When I get back, my business goes to sethji.) 

Third, and this is the most probable one in my book, there are not enough exceptions to prove (meaning tests) the existent rule that 'less is more' because we believe the rule is self-evident truth. Truth it may be; self-evident it isn't.

To sum up, I must say something so basic that my only excuse for saying it is that I'm faced with obsession: Ask what we need to say before debating how we're going to say it. If we answer the first wrongly, common-sense dictates that it won't matter much how we decide the second. For communication is the art of making words count, not the science of counting words. 

Monday, 2 February 2009

Lucknow, 24-26 Jan 09

Lucknow was very disappointing. 

La Martinne makes you wonder why someone built a home big enough to house a school. It's being restored.

The Residency is impressive, but the museum shows appalling lack of imagination. What could have become an inspiration for millions is just a rendezvous for Lucknow's lovers. 

The Bara and Chota Immambaras are in urgent need for repair and rescue from the clutches of the trust that's letting them run to ruin. Apparently, you can't go into the Bhul Bhulaiya without a guide. Ok, then why not build the guide's fee into the ticket? Instead, you face disgusting chaos. We paid for a 2-person tour @ Rs 75, that is, Rs 37.5 per head, and got a 5-person tour, for which the fee was Rs 100, that is, Rs 20 per head. In absolute terms the difference is trivial for any tourist who can make it to Lucknow, but in percentage terms, 37.5 is 87.5% more then 20. It does a great deal to spoil your fun.

The Rumi Darwaja is impressive, but instead of building a rundown park in which not one child was playing on a Sunday morning, couldn't the city fathers have built a lav and spared the gate their voters' piss?

The unfinished royal observatory deserved to be at least a proud ruin; instead, it stands in neglected shame in a garbage dumb, with a disgusting communal banner around it.

The gallery exhibiting portraits of the Lucknow Nawabs is downright ugly and wretched. The paintings need restoration. A tiny corner of one had been cleaned, and it showed colours very different from the smog that one sees. Maybe we won't get masterpieces, but what's the harm? 

Deva Sharif is 40 km from Lucknow, and, like most Indian places of pilgrimage, infested with beggars and hawkers. If it had any capacity of impressing the atheist, its surroundings ensure that is completely ruined. 

Interestingly, one notices a whole industry of local music videos doing business at shops near the shrine. The 'hero' is typically a hoodlum; the 'heroine' is a doll, all fair, plump and doe-eyed. She always 'betrays' him, after which he literally weeps his silly heart out. I'm sure this connects very well to real life. But why can't we do better than puppy love in a nation of 1.15 billion?

Lucknow's street food was another disaster. The shops are so dirty that you dare not risk it. The cabbie we hired took us to a place near the Press Club, which was quite nice though.

Queserbaug, which once must have had many aristocratic hawelies and parks, now looks and smells like a sump. It was Republic Day when we visited the Maqbara (tombs) there, and schoolchildren were having breakfast after participating in the morning's celebrations. They made a mess, throwing paper cups, plates and food. I can't blame just them. Not one teacher was in sight, and not one rubbish bin. A park inaugurated by Vajpai lay in disrepair; it's pools, stagnated; its plants, dead.  

Lucknow's chikan is beautiful, and very affordable. I'm sure people who make and wear such fine clothes have an highly developed aesthetic sense. Then why do they tolerate such ugliness all around? Why do we have to admire the clinical cleanliness of Singapore while covering our own splendours with grime?

PS: We stayed in Park Inn at Lucknow, where we had gone for a holiday. On our way back to the airport, we asked the hotel to hail a cab. They said it'd cost Rs 400. I was surprised, because the ride from the airport to the hotel, in a similar non-AC car, had cost Rs 230. 

The chap at the desk explained that this difference was because they'd include a luxury tax. Now, even at a 20% luxury tax, the fare comes out to be Rs 276, not Rs 400. 

However, I could see no cab outside the hotel, in spite of the hotel being very near old Lucknow's shopping district and near a newly constructed mall. So, I didn't have any choice but to ask them to call for one.

I was in for another nasty shock when I tried to pay by card: That's add another 17% to the fare, I was told. Why? Some other tax. I paid cash.

Yet the bill I got was from a travel company, not the hotel. And it didn't mention any tax anywhere. 

I naïvely hope that since I have a bill, a record of the transaction exists and they will have to pay the taxes they claimed they would. But why did do they want to do these things? More to the point, why aren't taxies readily available in the capital city of India's most populous state? 

PPS: Speaking of the city, we found something rather surprising at the Sahara Mall there – a home store that covered an entire floor and sold everything from hardware to prefabricated kitchens to cushions. We have not seen anything like it Bangalore, Delhi or Bombay. 

Why? Perhaps because we didn't look hard enough. Perhaps because there are specialised shops in larger cities and the one-stop-shop doesn't make sense. Perhaps because sky-high real estate rates renders such large shops impossibly risky.  
 
PPPS: South Indian cities are cleaner than North Indian ones, especially when one compares the older quarters. Temples are cleaner too. Why? Culture? Rainfall? Age of cities? Planning? Population?  

Class & Colour Plot

Is there a story out there, somewhere, on the meeting of immigrants from different times, for example, a software engineer from India who goes to, say, Canada in 2009 meeting the family of an Indian taxi-driver who immigrated in 1979 or the family of a collie who left way back in the 1909?  

Virtual Museum

Every time I visit an historical site, I remember the idea of a Virtual Museum. This will have photographs, virtual tours, plans and reconstructions. 

For example, many of the buildings in the Red Fort were originally painted white in a technique that made the walls resemble marble. That effect can be recreated in pictures. Similarly, Lucknow's Residency and Rumi Darwaja can be recreated. And so can thousands of other monuments, sculptors, paintings, commentaries, etc. Perhaps a whole city can be rebuilt, perhaps in a tiny fraction of the cost and time needed to archaeologically excavate, restore and maintain a site. I'm quite sure such museums will only increase tourist traffic to the real sites, just as photography and video have. 

Such electronic reconstruction will be especially attractive and instructive for fossils and skeletons. 

Brick & mortar museums should have electronic counterparts anyways, more so in India where the former are criminally neglected.

I'm sure these exist in the West, but I know of no such thing in India. I hope some young entrepreneur takes this up and reap millions. 

Tuesday, 20 January 2009

Your grandpa spat on my grandpa

While googling about the 'siege of Lucknow' I came across this entry. My comments in blue.

"Things fall apart, the centre cannot hold" - W.B. Yeats. "We're doomed !" - Private Frazer. "Like scrolling through a decade's worth of Daily Mail editorials in 20 minutes" - TheLoonyFromCatford

Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Siege of Lucknow 2007 
Once again, 150 years after the previous unpleasantness, a gallant band of Brits again defend themselves against violent racists.

A group of British veterans are barricaded inside an Indian hotel this evening after they were attacked by a violent group of Indian nationalists during a trip to pay homage to British soldiers killed during the 1857 Indian Mutiny. Indian authorities have told Britons in India to stay away from the historic site due to protests.

Dozens of retired British soldiers and civilians were holed up in a hotel behind a police cordon today in Lucknow. They had had planned to visit the site of a siege that was a key event of what is known in India as the First War of Independence and in Britain as the Sepoy Mutiny. During the siege, hundreds of British soldiers and their families defended the Residency of Lucknow against thousands of Indian soldiers - or sepoys - rebelling against the colonial occupiers. Hundreds died in the fighting.

Small but vocal protests have been led by local members of India's Hindu-nationalist Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) party. Some protesters pelted the visitors' bus with rubbish and a bottle filled with dirty water when they arrived in the city on yesterday. "A thick security net around them saved the situation from taking any ugly turn," said district magistrate Chandra Bhanu. "Though we have no objection to their visit as ordinary tourists, we cannot take any chances and expose them to any kind of risk under the prevailing volatile circumstances" he said. 

May they show the same courage and unity as their forebears, and may their country succour them as it did then.

The 1857 mutiny was commemorated a month or two back in India with much ceremony as a "shining example of national unity". As the BBC put it : "It is known in India as the first war of India's independence, while in the UK it is usually called a mutiny. So we'll call it an uprising."

Now you can't really blame the Indian government for playing the national unity card for all it's worth. After all, theirs is what the BBCs Jim Muir would call an ethnic and confessional patchwork, with all the potential for lack of unity that implies. Not only that, but before the Raj there was no nation of India, although the Mughal Empire had at one stage encompassed almost the whole subcontinent. You get your national myths where you find them and as you need them - and India, always struggling to keep a vastly diverse nation intact (and succeeding remarkably well) - needs a national narrative more than most. 

There was no India before the Raj, in the sense that there was no single administration from Kashmir to Kanya Kumari. Very true. 

But which modern nation was born in its present state. Was there a USA before the 13 initial states broke off from British rule? What was Germany after WW2? Or China during the first half of the 20th century? Is UK the founder of USA, the Allies of Germany and Japan of China?

Ideas have often come long before boundaries, and administrative unity does not always translate into nationhood (see Yugoslavia, USSR, the former Japanese Empire). It's high time apologists for the Raj took off their blinkers, and stopped apologising. The Raj is over. Dead. Gone. Let's move on.

In Britain however we can take a more clear eyed view of the Mutiny, which was an uprising not solely against the forces of the British Empire, the soldiers and administrators, but a vast racist pogrom against all Europeans, the 'Feringhees' or 'gora log', without distinction of age, sex or employment, although Indian Christians were also killed. While for obvious reasons it was necessary to strike down British military resistance where found, the wholesale slaughter of unarmed men, women and children took place wherever the mutineers had gained control, although there are many instances of Indians saving lives at the risk of their own. The testimonies of massacre from Meerut, Delhi, Lucknow, Cawnpore are many and vivid.

"Gough came in. He is a pensioner. He was in the 19th Regiment and directly after landing in England after the Crimea War volunteered to go to India at the time of the Indian Mutiny. He landed in Calcutta and his regiment marched through Cawnpore 48 hours after the Massacre. He said the scene was horrible, so horrible, shocking and disgusting that it could not be explained or described. Women's breasts had been chopped and sliced off and were still lying about with their other parts. Women had been cut to pieces and mutilated in a vile and shocking manner. The most devilish and beastly ingenuity had been at work in mutilating the persons and violating and dishonouring the parts of the poor creatures. A child's head had been cut off and was lying on the ground with the lips placed by a devilish jest as if sucking the breast of a woman which had also been chopped off. Numbers of the poor women had jumped down the great well with their children to avoid the horrors which were being perpetrated on the bodies of women all over the place.

The soldiers were furious, almost ungovernable, as they marched through Cawnpore and saw those shameful sights." Francis Kilvert's Diary, Wednesday, 22nd January 1873 

"Captain Orr, before allowing the sepoys to accompany them, as well as himself and his family, first made them swear on the head of a Brahmin jemadar, or native officer, the most sacred oath a Hindoo can take, that they would not touch a hair of their heads. They had scarcely set out a short distance, however, when the sepoys obliged the ladies and children to leave their carriages and to walk. The gentlemen, fourteen in number, were murdered one by one, near Mithowly, and the whole of the ladies and children, certain of their coming fate, assembling together in one body, were shot down while kneeling and singing a hymn."
- A personal narrative of the siege of Lucknow By L E Ruutz Rees (1858)

"They knew that stabbing was inefficient, that hacking at their victim's necks would be the quickest way of accomplishing their mission. If the ladies protected their necks with their arms, then their arms would simply be severed as well; the effect was the same, they would bleed to death. Slashing right and left at all who were standing, chopping downward at the fallen with their heavy blades, the five proceeded methodically, spreading a pool of blood ... The few defiant boys were cut down quickly, as was every child who tried to make a run for it through the phalanx of swordsmen. Mothers kept pulling their children close to them and pushing them back into the corners of the building, and in the sweltering heat and the crush of bodies, children suffocated to death under their dying mothers' skirts." Andrew Ward - Our Bones Are Scattered - Cawnpore Massacres and the Indian Mutiny of 1857.

Mrs Captain McDonald, Mrs Captain Chambers, Mrs Dawson and two children, Mrs Courtenay and two children, Mr. V. Tregear, Pensioners McKinley and Blanco, Corporals Mortimer (Rifles), Edwards and Fitzpatrick and wives, Mr Newland (Photographer), Overseers Segeants Law and two children, McPhee, Binglee, Grant, Brooks and wives, Gunners Donohoe, Connolly, Benson and Cairns (Horse Artillery), Riding Master Langdale's child - some of the dead from the first day at Meerut - Robert Dunlop - Service and Adventure with the Meerut Volunteer Horse (1858)

You can also see why this kind of stuff gets passed by in India. No nation likes to be reminded of its bad deeds, England excepted, but in India stuff about massacring innocents strikes a bit too close to home. The slaughter of defenceless people isn't exactly something that stopped in 1857. While 1947 set a standard that (God willing) is unlikely to be surpassed in the immediate future, the events of 1984 and 2002 remind us that it hasn't gone away. And those are only the ones we hear about. I was surprised when googling 'Meerut Massacre' to find that it's the '87 rather than the '57 massacre at the top. That's 1987.

Of course Delhi could never have been recaptured and the Mutiny suppressed without the soldiers from the Punjab and elsewhere who remained loyal. The force which retook Delhi contained Punjabis of all faiths, Baluchis, Gurkhas, Pashtuns - something else that the Indian Government and nationalist historians would rather forget. And while the rebel defenders of Delhi were killed to a man, the reactions of the British forces, memories of the dead innocents fresh in their minds, to their orders stand in stark contrast to the shameful barbarities of the rebels. 

"By the light of a lantern the orders for the assault were then read to the men. They were to the following purport: any man who might be wounded was to be left where he fell; no one was to step from the ranks to help him, as there were no men to spare... no prisoners were to be made, as we had no one to guard them, and care was to be taken that no women or children were injured. To this the men answered at once, by 'No fear, Sir'. The officers now pledged their honours on their swords to abide by these orders and the men then promised to follow their example." 

Would this idiot please read his history before he writes! And he doesn’t have to read Indians’ history. White men’s writing will do. Every account I have come across lists instances of beasts on both sides, of whole villages being torched for no reason, of natives hung for just being there, of revenge visiting the innocent, during and after the mutiny. He completely neglects to mention any of that. 

He has no idea of what really happened in Delhi, the massacre of the princes, the exile of the Muslims, the digging for gold, the raging of the Red Fort – all of which are available in any standard history. 

He picks one unsubstantiated quote instead. And creates a criminally false picture.

He nicely forgets concentration camps during the Boer War, Jallianwala Bag, incendiary bombs during WW2, and the criminal haste and irresponsibility of the last days of the Raj. If he has a problem with bad history – and all of us do – he should plead guilty first.  

Equally bad, he condemns Indian historians without reading any, because his nonsense would not have been possible had he read even one. Surely there are Indian propagandists who write garbage like our friend here does. But not even we ignorant Indians think of them as historians.

What I find perhaps more shocking are the comments to his article. Except for a few, they are all anti-Indian in the most disgusting way. The lay Englishman just can't distinguish between fairy tale and religion, propaganda and history, illiterate Indians and Indian intellectuals. He only sees Indians. (Reminds you of 'A good Indian is a dead Indian.') 

(One chap says, "My knowledge about the Mutity comes from the well-researched Flashman novels. Well, I picked up one ages ago. It had Rani Laxmibai seducing Flashman to her bed! I couldn't read any more after that. Where did Flashman's author research that from!)

Now, governments, with all their limitations, are expected to tell and uphold the truth as objectively as possible, more so when the truth is old. Indians who want their country’s good want their government to defend the truth. A shameful past is made more shameful by lying. 

Yet, it can be no government’s duty to allow slander. Did soldiers from regiments who fought at Lucknow come here to slander India’s past or to remember the dead? On the face of it, they came for the latter, though reminding Indians of their ancestors’ barbarism would be an inescapable consequence of such remembrance. Obviously, that is not slander, even if the definition is stretched.

Nonetheless, anyone who has access to data and can write, even if he is not a certified intellectual, has the responsibility of explaining – to the soldiers, that their predecessors were not the only ones wronged; and to us silly Indians – that while our forefathers suffered, they were quite mahatmas either.

To get a bit lofty here, while lies and half-truths will keep us entrapped in bitterness for ever, a joint search for what really happened can help ensure it doesn’t happen again. It’s for us to decide whether we want to fight yesterday’s battles or tomorrow’s. 

Obama lost?

Obama says, "In no other country on earth is my story even possible." What does he mean? Does he mean that in no country can a person from a previously enslaved minority reach its highest office? Will he please look at his backyard? 

So many countries in South America and the Caribbean have Indians, formally indentured labour, in high places, not to mention native Indians and mulattoes. Of course, blacks have moved up in politics throughout that region, but they are the majority in most cases. Nonetheless, these nations have undergone equal, if not more, change in race relations as the US. 

Let him recall Justice Marshall too, who rose to the US Supreme Court from segregation Here i assume 'country' is as much a function of geography as it is of history (When Obama says 'country', he means USA here and now.)

The moot point is somewhat deeper than a particular misstating of history by a person who should have known better, and who presumably knowing better, chooses to deliberately misinform. Americans surely have enough to be proud of in fact to need myths, especially when these myths can easily turn counterproductive by pushing pride to vanity.